Monday, January 17, 2005

Happy New Year.. well, it's a bit late i guess.. but, better late than neva!! haha!! shitty.. it's been shitty time for me.. but then again, what's not shitty in this bloody world? anywayz, my K700i seems to have a setback i can't stand.. setbacks are definitely existance.. anywayz, the shitty thing abt my K700i is the battery lifespan.. so damn bloody shitty short!! it's flat b4 the day ends! lucky i've got an extra battery.. else i immediately sell the phone and get a new one..

Started my sch this last sunday.. it's the one i mentioned earlier in my bloggy.. check my archives if ur blur.. so, i'm taking the first module for the automotive course, Engine Components and Systems.. been there done dat.. all i want is to get lbloody good attendance and tips for the exam.. my instructor, as i found out, was an ex Komoco Staff.. u know, the company i'm in now.. sheesh.. small world, small country..

Got a fight with nur few days ago.. i admit, it's my fault.. got too emotional.. my sensitivity and temper got the better of me.. i said something i shouldn't have said n it really push her red buttons all the way.. i'm lucky she still accepts me.. alhamdulillah.. i seem hurt too.. it's because i've hurt her so deeply.. shitty iqi.. iqi so shitty.. i really don't wanna have a repeat of that.. i really went overboard.. sigh..

Just now i was at nur's place.. i managed to hold down my emotions.. i said my prayers.. n thankfully it helped.. there i was praying in the room and Hakim, nur's younger bro, kept making a whole damn fucking hell of a noise.. knowingly i was praying.. i was therefore having a damn bloody shitty shit time in concentrating my prayers.. i nearly stopped but managed to have enuf concentration to complete my prayers.. then i sat there on the praying mat wanting to do my zikir.. n all the time Hakim was making so much noise... unneccessary noise.. i really couldn't stand it! i was at the brink of either whacking something in that room, or go out of the room n whack the bloody fucking crap out of that crap.. but i held on.. the reason for holding on was i didn't want what happened before to happen again.. i don't want nur and hakim to fight because i can't control, i didn't want nur to suffer and get hurt because of my bloody shitty temper.. i really love her soo much.. can't bear the thought of her suffering time and time again.. it hurts me soo very much.. she's been soo very goood to me, soo patient towards me, so forgiving to me.. i'm not going to hurt her again.. kept saying this to myself time n time again.. i was having so much difficulty in controlling myself just now that i decided to get out of that house asap.. so as not to hurt nur again.. especially since we just had a terrible fight few days before.. i truly hope nur understands my intention.. the fact that i love her so much made me wanna get away from her place..

One more thing.. my fren hairudin, have been soo very helpful.. he's actually the first really proven true guy fren i've ever come across in my life so far.. the fact that he just experienced a damn bloody bad patch of un-engagement, he still managed to hold on strong n want's to help me situation with nur.. salutations to you bro!! :-)

By the way, i'm still holding on to my target to work for Mazda as an Automotive Technician.. in other words, to be a Mazda Mechanic..

now go get shitty!!

1 comment:

WarriorLady said...

hello dear. i understand wat u went thru. It hurted me a lot. But knowing you still love me and care for me helps me a lot to get through the hurt. wat u said is really something i dont want u to repeat it ever in your entire life. once is enuf. i love yoou and hold me tight and dont let me go.. inside, i am like fading away. i need you to hold me in place.